Say it Sooner: I Love You

Dear People Who Read My Blog,I remember the pickles. The first time I had lunch with Jack and Vivian, the pickles were served in their own separate dish. It wasn't just a cereal bowl, either, but a small serving dish, designed for pickles or relish, decorated with roses or some such flourish, probably passed down for a generation or two. It would have been out of place at most lunches, but certainly not this one, not with the table cloth, and the iced tea in a finely plebeian pitcher, crusty bread, tuna salad, and a handcrafted cheese ball. This last was so tasty, I asked for the recipe, and so received an email a few days later, which is still in my inbox, six months later, because how can you delete or even put in a folder an email with the subject "Uncle Bill's Cheese Ball Recipe"?It was a wonderful lunch with a beautiful couple. Jack and Vivian (not their real names) are well into retirement from ministry, Jack as a pastor, and Vivian as a pastor's wife. That world being my world, there is a lot for us to talk about, and there seems to be no end to the stories they can tell or the encouragement they can give, the things Jack says that make me laugh or the thoughtful questions Vivian asks.I love them. And they love me. And they know I love them, and I know they love me, because we tell each other, every time we see each other. Every email ends with "love" or "much love" or "we love you." I note this because we started using these words much sooner than normal. Vivian started it, not surprisingly, probably in how she signed off on the "Uncle Bill's Cheese Ball Recipe" email. I read the words, and felt their import, and simply started using them myself, even though at that point we had probably only spent two and a half hours in each other's company. I did love them, and I do, so why not say so, often? Convention be darned.God, too, blunders and blubbers into an ostensibly too-soon "I love you." That's kind of what this whole Christmas thing is about, a season which ends today, January 6th, Epiphany. Epiphany is the day that marks the coming of the magi to the child Jesus, bringing their gifts; it also marks the coming of God's light into the darkness of the world, a light that is for all people. All of it is summed up in a perhaps familiar phrase: "For God so loved the world." He does love us, and he says so, without waiting, before the pickle dish is even on the table.Vivian and Jack have known this love for these many years, which is why they use "those three words" with such ease; not with nonchalance, but without anxiety about timing and what is proper. Perhaps, with those three words, more is more, not less. More use, sooner, with many, not just a few.Three months after the lunch with the pickle dish and Uncle Bill's Cheese Ball, Jack was diagnosed with stage four cancer. God only knows, but it is probably sooner than later that Jack will no longer be "here" and will rather be "there," side by side with the God "who so loved the world." Not much is known about "there," but I'm quite sure there is not only a lot of love, but a lot of out loud love. Saying "I love you," perhaps particularly when it's too soon, is a way that we can bring "there" "here." So say it, people. Not just to spouses and kids and siblings. Not just on special occasions. Not just when the right amount of time has elapsed. Say it. It's in your heart; you might as well get it out in the open.Love,JeffP.S. Here is Uncle Bill's Cheese Ball Recipe:1 lb cheddar cheese, grated1 large clove garlic, finely chopped1 med onion, finely chopped or grated1/2 tsp salt2 tsp sugar2 T (heaping) mayonnaisedash of red pepperpaprikaMix together the cheese, garlic, onion. Let set until cheese is soft. Add salt, sugar, mayo, and pepper. Beat with electric mixer. Roll into ball. Cover with paprika. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate. Before serving, let cheese ball set out to soften.